Top 12 Ways to Eat Your Feelings
- Cookout combo tray with a milkshake. I'm sorry, did you say "quesadilla" as a "side item???" LET'S GO. Hungry? Angry? Hangry? Pissed because you found out he untagged himself from all of your old photos together? Get yo'self to Cookout. Some people say "dance" like no one's watching, but personally I'd rather replace "dance" with "stuff your face."
- Frozen Yogurt. You're being healthy, so it's fine! Because piling on cookie dough, Reese's, and whipped cream on top of some cake batter froyo is TOTALLY great for you. And organic. And gluten free.
- Movie theater popcorn. Doused in butter--it's really the only way. Feel those arteries clogging with confidence knowing you're nourishing your soul, which is infinitely more important.
- Chickfila Chicken Biscuit. Sometimes feelings need to be dealt with before 10:30am. Unfortunately if your heartbreak falls on a Sunday you'll have to move on to #5.
- Arby's Curly Fries. Something about the curl just makes them better. Don't settle for regular old, straight fries on days like today. Go big; go curly.
- Delivery Pizza. You choose wherever your pizza-lovin' self desires, but my personal fave is the 10-dolla box deal from Pizza Hut. Pizza, breadsticks with marinera, AND cinnamon sticks with icing. These are meant for one person, right?
- Chips and Cheese Dip. Or, as we Texans call it-- queso. Queso is always a yes-o. Go get a bag of tortilla chips from Publix, get you some Tostito's chili con queso, and drown your sorrows in a sea of cheesy goodness while watching A Walk to Remember.
- Dairy Queen Chocolate Xtreme Blizzard. So the ex just got engaged. His fiancee dubiously has tagged him as "this guy" in the 220 engagement photos she just uploaded labeled under the never-used-before exclamation: "I get to marry my best friend!" Forget the froyo. Shit just got real. Or should I say, Xtreme.
- Cookie Dough. Straight up. Or you can bake it until it gives the slight appearance of a cookie. This ain't a cookie, doe. (Sorry, couldn't help myself). No, this ooey-gooey uncooked goodness has enough salmonella to kill all those bad feelings. Especially if you finish the whole roll.
- Peanut Butter. Not any of that natural, oily stuff. We're talking sugary Jif. Maybe with some oreos. Your mouth is going to look like you just chowed down on a fresh pile of sod for the rest of the night, but hey, let's not kid ourselves. We got nowhere to be. #SingleGirlPerks
- Chipotle Burrito. Don't even DARE go to this place and order a salad when your sad or mad or overwhelming feelings are on the rise. Get dat burrito. When your world is crashing down, the guac must be piled high.
- Donuts. So what if it's 9:30pm on a Friday night? Breakfast is always the play. So is gluten. So you just fill that hole in the donut with all your leftover feelings, ladies. It can take handle them. And by "it" I mean all dozen of them. Don't be ashamed.
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